I've been an AOL member for longer than I care to admit - since 1993. Before AOL had all the nifty content, before there was anything faster than a 2400 baud modem, before a low monthly fee (my AOL bill back in the day ran around $200 a month - can you imagine?!). Somehow you end up attached to your screen name as though it defines you in some alternate universe.

I've met some good people in the chat rooms, made some friends I still stay in contact with, had a few flings and a couple of longer term relationships. Over all it's been an educational and oft enlightening experience. Yay - they made it free now! But I digress.

The shock value of today's post is priceless (sorry Mastercard) but in all honesty there is a disturbing trend behind it.

I chatted with a gent for a while, friendly banter back and forth, harmless flirting, some music file exchanges - nothing heavy. However, I am leary of folks who don't have photos; hence, I insisted that he send me one. Which eventually he did. Now, I'm not sure what he was expecting my reaction was supposed to be? I imagine he pictured me falling hopelessly in love with his photo and we would live happily ever after. Instead, I was honest and said, "You look nice but you're not my type." IM silence for a few minutes. Then he goes ballistic. I won't go into the entire detail but the gist of it is, that he deemed me shallow, unbelievable and where did I get off passing judgement like that. Huh????

I've learned over the years never to lead anyone on lest I cause heartache and false hopes; it has been my policy to be polite but brutally honest about my true intentions/feelings/whatever. 9 times out of 10 it works. This guy was the one case where it backfired. He was genuinely appaled that I had said this!

For a few days after that he continued IM'ing me and eventually it came down to: "Well, if you just want to be friends - how about we become fuck buddies? Would that work for you?" It was my turn for extended radio silence. What on earth made this guy think that I would even entertain that notion? It's absolutely incredible! The IM's got so bad I had to eventually block him entirely to get some peace as he was relentless in his Fuck Buddy pursuit. Now, I'm a pretty open and progressive kind of girl, but come on!?



I've noticed this disturbing trend in a lot of the different chat rooms. The generic hello's quickly disintegrate to propositions of spankings (me being the spanker or spankee), what are my measurements, do I want to dominate (him or her), do I have pretty feet or toes, do I love stockings, will I do this or that - and in exchange I am often offered boatloads of cash. Has AOL become pimp heaven? What is going on here?

Would any of these guys (and yes, some gals too) approach me in a bar and ask me those same questions? Hell no! So it appears that AOL has become a safe haven for deviants and perverts. Hey, if toe sucking and the paddle is your thing who am I to judge? Just don't assume that you can just blindly message me and expect me to clap my hands in glee upon being found to engage in various act of depravity and kinkiness. It's just weird. And then when I don't bite, you have the nerve to curse me out? WTF?

Whatever happend to etiquette and common sense? An old fashioned hello not followed by "I'm so horny, what are you up to?" Are we as people really so far removed from real life and so firmly entrenched in the instant gratification culture that we truly expect to order sex any way we want it through a chat room?

Some of these folks appear to be perfectly respectable members of society - doctors, lawyers, police men etc. Yet, they have formed the opinion that AOL is entertainment as well as an online sex ordering system. It's unreal. Cybersex has replaced the real thing in some cases (hey, the ultimate in safe sex I hear), the deviants are out in droves on the hunt (child molestors included) and I have stopped answering my IM's lest I know how it is. It's like avoiding that seedy bar you know is frequented by undesirables.

Is AOL doing anything about it? Hell no again. They used to have these room guides, volunteers that monitored the goings on in the chat rooms. People used to get booted and/or banned for this sort of behavior. Well, no more. You have to go through all kinds of gyrations and execute complicated searches as well as experience long wait times to get to a live person to report infractions to. It's become a free-for-all for deviants as they know you can do nothing about it. Abysmal!

While I'm still of the opinion that the Internet is the greatest invention ever, the proliferation of disrespectful, appaling and deviant behavior is alarming. I think the public service agencies are catching on to this - why else would there be a need for a special FBI squad trolling the chat rooms? Sign of the times? Maybe.

I for one will stick to the old fashioned way of meeting my potential bed mates. And for all of you toe fetish folks - no I do not want them scattered, smothered and covered, thank you very much.