When I took the position here in Germany, I had my house on the market for almost six weeks already. The market was still relatively strong and my agent assured me there would be no problem selling it pronto. He was wrong. Not only wrong, but dead wrong. It didn't sell.

This was the first house I purchased (and my only house) with the help of a HUD loan. I paid 127k for it in 2000. Five years later I took out a second to replace the roof and fix various other things. By the time I left I owed 170k, and the house as appraised at 190k+. Great deal right?

Then the move to Germany happened, as mentioned, it didn't sell. There was no way I could maintain a mortgage in the states and rent a place overseas as well. When it still didn't sell two months into my Europe adventure I had to make the most excruciating decision of my life. I had to stop paying the mortgage. Somewhere I had the illogical hope that by some miracle it would sell still and I would be ok. Never happened. It went into foreclosure.

I resisted the urge to look at Zillow to see what was going on with it. Yesterday I caved and looked. The house is currently on sale for 137k - way below appraised value. To make matters worse the agent that bought it at auction was using MY original photos of it to post it for sale! I was not only heartbroken but also livid! I summarily logged in with my own screenname and deleted the photos. I suppose I was feeling spiteful for being robbed of the home that I raised my children in. How juvenile you say? I don't care.

So with all that said, this is then another kink in my return home. A foreclosure on my credit report is definitely a big whammy. Then again, half the country can boast this tidbit on their reports now, so maybe one more is not so bad.

The emotions of failure and dispair are punishment that I try valiantly to endure and sometimes ignore. I don't think I'm doing so well with that.