I've been so torn up about this whole moving across continents thing that I've hardly slept in days. Perhaps my visit to Germany wasn't such a good idea after all. I had my homesickness under check for years and it only reared its ugly head during the obligatory holiday seasons. Seeing my mother aging and ill though has given me quite a bit of food for thought. Then again, I've always been the caretaker so maybe that's what's kicking in?

I toss and turn at night thinking about all the possible scenarios. What if I decide to go ahead and do it and then I miss the States? I mean, I basically spent more than half of my life here. Would I get homesick? Then again, English-language TV is just a satellite away. With the world becoming more and more global and without boundaries, I can have the best of both worlds. Right?

Then I am thinking about my son. He's grown up over here and isn't all that enthused about going to high school in a (to him) foreign country where he doesn't even speak the language (yet). On one hand I give him a valid point; on the other, I would have given my left arm to have the opportunity to live in another country at his age. What an adventure! Plus, if he really hates it, then he can always come back to the US and go to college here. No problemo.

Boy, I just don't know. I lost my train of thought and off I go, tossing and turning some more.