I grew up believing that it was important to have respect - for authority, for your elders, for other people's property and lightning. I'm still fairly big on it although my qualifications for respecting authority have diminished somewhat over the years.

Yesterday I come home to find my entire bag of gummy bears missing. I am a fanatic about my gummy bears! If I was addicted to crack I could not be more fierce about protecting my stash! Since there are only two people living in the house (and my dog has no particular affinity for gummies) the instant culprit was my teenage son. I was livid!

Now before you say that I am being ridiculous over some gummies (which he thinks I am by the way) let me just say this: it's NOT about the gummies. It's about respect. As a kid I would not have dreamed of taking anything out in the open if it did not belong to me. It just wasn't done. My son on the other hand, appears to often live under the mantra, "What's mine is mine; what's yours is mine." He routinely gets into the holiest places of all: my purse. Sometimes it's the gum, sometimes it's a couple of bucks..whatever, not even the point.

The principle of the matter is that no matter what it is, if it does not belong to you - you do not take it! I can't seem to be able to get this through his head. When did kids turn into such selfish demons?? Everything seems to be about instant gratification and "I want it now". I certainly did not raise him this way! I've always been a firm believer in making my boys work for whatever they wanted. Granted, some of this was driven by the fact that when they were small we had very little but I still believe it is a good lesson for real life. Once they get out there, nothing will be given to them - ever.

So I grounded him. He looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well. A few minutes later one of his buddies comes over to get him. He walks to the door, puts on the "Whoa is me" look and says, "I'm in trouble for taking my mom's gummies" with a voice full of disdain and disbelief. So I grounded him another week for acting like it's nothing and trying to garner sympathy from his buddy (who by the way is notorious for being in trouble himself). Am I overreacting? I don't think so.

I think he needs to understand that it's not what he's taking but the mere act itself. Right now he's fairly safe under my wing, but in a few years he will be out there making his own way. Taking some gummies from a complete stranger or a store shelf could earn him a beating or a criminal record. So he's grounded. One can only hope that he will eventually understand what respect is all about.